Movie Quotes

Teacher: Earth that was could no longer sustain our numbers, we were so many. We found a new solar system, dozens of planets and hundreds of moons. Each one terraformed, a process taking decades, to support human life, to be new Earths. The Central Planets formed the Alliance. Ruled by an interplanetary parliament, the Alliance was a beacon of civilization. The savage outer planets were not so enlightened and refused Alliance control. The war was devastating, but the Alliance's victory over the Independents ensured a safer universe. And now everyone can enjoy the comfort and enlightenment of our civilization.

Simon: She always did love to dance.

Dr. Mathias: Gave up a brilliant future in medicine as well. It's madness.
The Operative: Madness? Have you looked at this scan carefully, Doctor? At his face? It's love, in point of fact. Something a good deal more dangerous.

The Operative: Do you know what your sin is, Doctor?
Dr. Mathias: I wonder if...
The Operative: It's pride.

The Operative: Key members of Parliament. Key. The minds behind every military, diplomatic and covert operation in the galaxy, and you put them in a room with a psychic.

The Operative: You know, in certain older civilized cultures, when men failed as entirely as you have, they would throw themselves on their swords.
Dr. Mathias: Well, unfortunately, I forgot to bring a sword. I would put that down right now if I were you.
The Operative: Would you be killed in your sleep, like an ailing pet?

The Operative: Where are you hiding, little girl?

Wash: This landing is gonna get pretty interesting.
Mal: Define "interesting".
Wash: Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?

Mal: This is the captain. We have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then - explode.

Mal: Just get us on the ground!
Wash: That part'll happen pretty definitely.

Jayne: We're gonna explode? I don't wanna explode!
Mal: Jayne, how many weapons you plan on bringing? You only got the two arms.
Jayne: I just get excitable as to choice- like to have my options open.
Mal: I don't plan on any shooting taking place during this job.
Jayne: Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar.
Mal: No grenades. No grenades!
Zoë: We gonna crash again?
Mal: Go talk to your husband. Is the mule prepped?
Zoë: Good to go sir. Just loading her up. Are those grenades?
Jayne: Cap'n doesn't want them.
Zoë: We're robbing the place, we're not occupying it.

Mal: Kaylee, what in the sphincter of hell are you playing at? We got the primary buffer coming right...
Kaylee: Everything's shiny, Cap'n. Not to fret.
Mal: You told me those entry couplings would hold for another week!
Kaylee: That was six months ago, Cap'n.
Mal: My ship don't crash. If she crashes, you crashed her.

Mal: Bit of a rockety ride. Nothing to worry about.
Simon: I'm not worried.
Mal: Fear's nothing to be ashamed of, Doctor.
Simon: This isn't fear. This is anger.
Mal: Well, kinda hard to tell one from t'other, face like yours.
Simon: Yes, well, I imagine if it were fear, my eyes would be wider.
Mal: I'll look for that next time.

Mal: Come a day there won't be room for naughty men like us to slip about at all. This job goes south, there well may not be another. So here is us, on the raggedy edge. Don't push me, and I won't push you.

Mal: Fine, I'll wear 'em. But I'll look like an idiot.
Zoë: I should think you'd be used to that, sir.

Mal: Hey, little one. Understand your part in all this?
River: Do you?
Mal: This is what I do, darlin'. This is what I do.

Mal: Doctor, I'm takin' your sister under my protection here. If anything happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you, I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears.

Simon: River...
River: I know. We're going for a ride.

Simon: If there's any fighting, you fall down or run away. It's okay to leave them to die.

Jayne: What're we expectin' to find here that equals the worth of a turd?

Jayne: Shiny. Let's be bad guys.

Mal: You all wanna be looking very intently at your own belly buttons. I see a head start to rise, violence is going to ensue. Probably guessed we mean to be thieving here but what we're after is not yours. So, let's have no undue fussing.

Trade Agent: You all are Browncoats, eh? Fought for independence? Petty thieving ain't exactly soldiers' work.
Mal: War's long done. We're all just folk now.

Zoë: In the time of war, we would never have left a man behind.
Mal: Maybe that's why we lost.

Zoë: At last, we can retire and give up this life of crime.

Mal: We're coming down to empty the vault now!
Vault Guard: You'll have to give me your authorization password!
Jayne fires a burst from his automatic rifle
Vault Guard: ...Okay!

Mal: The leg is good. It'll bleed plenty and we avoid any necessary organs.
Vault Guard: I was thinking more of a graze...
Mal: Well, you don't want it to look like you just gave up.
Vault Guard: No, I get that.

Jayne: Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

Mal: Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!

Jayne: How come they ain't blowin' us out the air?
Mal: They wanna run us down. The up-close kill.
River: They want us alive when they eat us.

Jayne: I won't get et! You shoot me if they take me! Well, don't shoot me first!

Zoë: We're not going to get to you in time.
Wash: Keep moving, honey. We're coming to you.

Simon: River! River? Are you okay?
River: I swallowed a bug.

Mal: I'm a hairsbreadth from riddlin' you with holes, Doctor!

Simon: Oh, one simple job! She'll be fine!
Mal: She is fine! Except for being still crazy, she's a picture of health!

Zoë: In the time of war, we would never have left a man behind.
Mal: Maybe that's why we lost.

Jayne: Ain't logical. Cuttin' on his own face, rapin' and murdering - Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman, or if I'm gettin' paid - mostly only when I'm gettin' paid. But these Reavers... last ten years they show up like the bogeyman from stories. Eating people alive? Where's that get fun?

Kaylee: Don't pay anybody in advance. And don't ride in anything with a Capissen 38 engine, they fall right out of the sky.

Simon: River, do you want to stay with them?
River: It isn't safe.
Simon: No. I fear it isn't safe any more.
River: For them.

Kaylee: Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!
Mal: Oh, God! I can't know that!
Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more.

Kaylee: Sometimes people have feelings. I'm referrin' here to people.

Mal: Fanty. Mingo.
Mingo: He's Mingo.
Mal: He's Fanty. You're Mingo.
Mingo: How is it you always know?
Mal: Fanty's prettier.

Mal: You got a sweet take kissing your foot. How about you take your 25% and we can talk about the next job?
Fanty: Well our end is forty, precious.
Jayne: My muscular buttocks it's forty.

Fruity Oaty Bar Jingle: Fruity Oaty Bars! Make a man out of a mouse! Fruity Oaty Bars! Make you bust out of your blouse! Eat them all the time! Let them blow your mind... ohh! Fruity Oaty Bars!

Fanty: Do you know that girl?
Mal: I really don't.

Simon: Eta Kooram Nah Smech!

Mal: What in the hell happened back there?
Wash: Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90 pound girl cuz... I don't think that's ever getting old.

Wash: Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve violence, or is this the wrong crowd for that?

Mr. Universe: I cried. Like a baby. A hungry, angry baby.

Mr. Universe: And, she falls asleep. Which, she would be sleepy.
Mal: Can you go back? See if anybody spoke with her before she acted up... made any kind of contact with her.
River: Miranda...
Mal: Miranda? Go back further.
Mr. Universe: No...
Mal: Uh... please?
Mr. Universe: Oh, Mal, you're very smart. Someone is talking to her.
Wash: The oaty bar?
Mal: Subliminal. It's a subliminal message, broadwaved to trigger her.
Mr. Universe: I've been seeing this code pop up all over, the last few weeks. It's Alliance, and it's high military. They have gone to enormous trouble to find your little friend... and found her they have. Do you all know what it is you're carrying?

Mal: You had a gorram time bomb living with us! Who we gonna find in there when she wakes up? The girl? Or the weapon?
Simon: I thought she was getting better.
Jayne: And I thought they was getting off. Didn't we have an intricate plan on how they was gonna not be here any more?
Kaylee: We couldn't leave them now.
Jayne: No, now that she's a killer woman, we ought to be bringing her tea and dumplings.

Mal: I know she meant to kill me 'fore the Doc put her to sleep, which how exactly does that work anyhow?
Simon: Safe word. The people who helped me break River out - they had intel that River and the other subjects were being embedded with behavioural conditioning. They taught me a safe word, in case... something happened.
Kaylee: Not sure I get it.
Simon: A phrase that's encoded in her brain, that makes her fall asleep. If I speak the words, "Eta...
Jayne: Well don't say it!
Zoë: It only works on her, Jayne.
Jayne: Oh... Well, now I know that.

Mal: I didn't start this.
Jayne: No, that's right. Alliance starts the war, and then you volunteer. Battle of Serenity, Mal. Besides Zoe here, how many...
Jayne: Hey, I'm talking at you! How many men in your platoon came out of there alive?
Zoë: You wanna leave this room.
Jayne: Damn right, I do.

Simon: But I think when they triggered you, it somehow brought this up. This memory.
River: It isn't mine. The memory, it isn't mine. And I shouldn't have to carry it. It isn't mine. Don't make me sleep again.
Simon: I won't. I won't.
River: Put a bullet to me. Bullet in the brain pan, squish.
Simon: Don't say that! Not ever. We'll get through this.
River: Things are going to get much, much worse.

Simon: We'll get off the ship. River and I will get off at Haven. It'll be for the best.
Kaylee: Nobody's sayin' that.
Wash: Nobody but Jayne is sayin' that.

Mal: Do you want to run this ship?
Jayne: Yes!
Mal: Well... you can't...

Mal: Ah, hell shepherd, I ain't looking for help from on high...
Book: Why when I talk about faith do you always assume I'm talking about god?

Zoë: So... trap?
Mal: Trap.
Zoë: We goin' in?
Mal: Ain't but a few hours out.
Wash: Yeah, but... remember the part where it's a trap?

Mal: I'll take the shuttle in closer. Zoe, ship is yours. Remember, if anything happens to me, or you don't hear from me within the hour... you take this ship and you come and you rescue me.
Zoë: What? And risk my ship?
Mal: I mean it. It's cold out there. I don't wanna get left.

Mal: Dear Buddha, please bring me a pony and a little plastic rocket...

Inara: Mal, what are you doing here?
Mal: You invited me.
Inara: I never thought for a second you'd be stupid enough to come!
Mal: Well that makes you a tease.

The Operative: You cannot make me angry.
Inara: Please, spend an hour with him!

The Operative: That girl will rain destruction down on you and your ship. She is an albatross, Captain.
Mal: Way I remember it, albatross was a ship's good luck, 'til some idiot killed it.
Mal: Yes, I've read a poem. Try not to faint.

Mal: You have to open with payment.
The Operative: That is a trap. I offer money, you'll play the man of honour and take umbrage; I ask you to do what is right and you'll play the brigand. I have no stomach for games.

The Operative: I already know you will not see reason.
Mal: The Alliance wanted to show me reason, they shouldn't have sent an assassin.
The Operative: I have a warship in deep orbit, Captain. We locked onto Serenity's pulse beacon the moment you hit atmo. I can speak a word and send a missile to that exact location inside of three minutes.
Mal: You do that, you'd best make peace with your dear and fluffy lord.
The Operative: Pulse beacon.

The Operative: I want to resolve this like civilized men. I'm not threatening you. I'm unarmed.
Mal: Good.
The Operative: I am, however, wearing full body armour. I am not a moron!

The Operative: You are fooling yourself, Captain. Nothing here is what it seems. You are not the plucky hero, the Alliance is not an evil empire, and this is not the grand arena.
Inara: And that's not incense.

The Operative: Yes, have you found the nav sat trajectory?
Ensign: Sir, we found seven.

Book: I killed... the ship... that killed us. Not very... Christian of me.

Mal: It should have been me that got hit.
Book: The thought... had crossed my mind.

Mal: I look to be bored by many more sermons before you slip. Just don't move.
Book: Can't order me around, boy. I'm not one of your crew.
Mal: Yes, you are.

Young River: People don't like to be meddled with. We tell them what to do, what to think, don't run, don't walk. We're in their homes and in their heads and we haven't the right. We're meddlesome.

Mal: This is how it is. Anybody doesn't wanna fly with me any more, this is your port of harbour. There's a lot of fine ways to die. I ain't waiting for the Alliance to choose mine. I mean to confound these bungers. Take my shot at getting to Miranda. Maybe find something I can use to get clear of this. So I hear a word out of any of you that ain't helping me out or taking your leave, I will shoot you down. Get to work!

Inara: You came to the Training House looking for a fight.
Mal: I came looking for you!
Inara: The war's over, Mal.
Mal: You tellin' me that cause you think I don't know!
Inara: I've just seen so many sides of you, I wanna make sure I know who I'm dealing with.
Mal: I start fightin' a war, I guarantee, you'll see somethin' new.

Mal: You fog stuff up! You always have. You spin me about. I wish like hell you were else where.
Inara: I was.

Mal: I've staked my crew's life on the theory that you're a person, actual and whole, and if I'm wrong, you'd best shoot me now... Or, we could talk some more.

The Operative: You're fighting a war you've already lost.
Mal: Yeah, well, I'm known for that.

The Operative: I'm sorry. If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to. You should have taken my offer. Or did you think none of this was your fault?
Mal: I don't murder children.
The Operative: I do. If I have to.
Mal: Why? Do you even know why they sent you?
The Operative: It's not my place to ask. I believe in something greater than myself. A better world. A world without sin.
Mal: So me and mine gotta lay down and die... so you can live in your better world?
The Operative: I'm not going to live there. There's no place for me there... any more than there is for you. Malcolm... I'm a monster. What I do is evil. I have no illusions about it, but it must be done.

The Operative: Every minute you keep River Tam from me, more people will die.

River: Please, God, make me a stone.

Jayne: She is startin' to damage my calm.

Dr. Caron: These are just a few of the images we've recorded. And you can see, it wasn't what we thought. There's been no war here and no terraforming event. The environment is stable. It's the Pax. The G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate that we added to the air processors. It was supposed to calm the population, weed out aggression. Well, it works. The people here stopped fighting. And then they stopped everything else. They stopped going to work, they stopped breeding, talking, eating. There's 30 million people here, and they all just let themselves die.

The Operative: You should have let me see her, Captain. We should have done this as men - not with fire.

Zoë: It's a fair bet the Alliance knows about Mr. Universe. They're gonna see this coming.
Mal: No. They're not going to see this coming.

Mal: Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this - they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make people... better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave.

Jayne: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something right."

The Operative: Target the Reavers. Target the Reavers! Target everyone! Somebody fire!

Wash: It's okay, I'm a leaf on the wind!
Mal: What does that mean?

Wash: I am a leaf on the wind - watch how I soar.

The Operative: There are a lot of innocent people being killed in the air right now.
Mal: You have no idea how true that is.

Lenore: Mal. That guy killed me, Mal. He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?

Mr. Universe: Can't stop the signal, Mal. The signal is everywhere and I go everywhere.

Simon: In all that time on the ship... I've always regretted... not being with you.
Kaylee: With me? You mean to say... as in sex?
Simon: I mean to say.
Kaylee: To Hell with this. I'm gonna live!

The Operative: And are you willing to die for that belief?
Mal: ...I am.
Mal: 'Course, it ain't exactly Plan A...

Zoë: Do you really think any of us is gonna get through this?
Jayne: Well, I might.

Zoë: How much ammo we got left?
Jayne: Three full mags, and my swinging cod!

The Operative: Do you know what your sin is?
Mal: Aw hell, I'm a fan of all seven... but right now, I'm gonna have to go with Wrath.

River: You take care of me, Simon. You've always taken care of me. My turn.

Mal: They take you down, I don't expect to grieve overmuch. Like to kill you myself, I see you again.
The Operative: You won't. There is nothing left to see.

Mal: You think she'll hold together?
Zoë: She's torn up plenty, but she'll fly true.
Mal: Could be bumpy.
Zoë: Always is.

Mal: Ready to get off this heap, back to civilized life?
Inara: I, uh... I don't know.
Mal: Good answer.

Mal: But it ain't all buttons and charts, little albatross. You know what the first rule of flyin' is? Well I suppose you do, since you already know what I'm about to say.
River: I do. But I like to hear you say it.
Mal: Love. You can know all the math in the 'Verse, but take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells ya she's hurtin' 'fore she keens. Makes her home.
River: Storm's getting worse.
Mal: We'll pass through it soon enough.

Mal: What was that?

Deleted scene
The Operative: Serenity... you lost everything in that battle. Everything you had, everything you were. How did you go on?
Mal: If you're still standing there when that engine starts, you never will figure it out.